Thursday, August 3, 2017


I'm stuck right now, specifically on chapter 9.😭  I don't know why but I can't seem to get through it so I might have to take drastic measures.  Which means either going to the library to do it or turning off my internet.  I'm too distracted.  I'm tired of being stuck, I feel like it's because this chapter is basically a total rewrite.  It's annoying.  1-10 has been a bunch of rewriting.  I want to make an update video so bad but I won't let myself until I get up to chapter 10 edited.

It's frustrating.😒

I hope to be done with the editing before the end of summer and before I find a job.  I'm currently submitting job applications so I need to either discipline myself or work harder.  Something or I'll be stuck forever. 

On the bright side while editing I realized one of my characters has a very distinct style, punk!  

 (This model is how I envision him
to look, he's Japanese!) 

He's a main character, has a bunch of tattoos, is half Japanese, androgynous, and his name is Judas.  He's such a fun character to write especially his style.  I love him and I can't wait to introduce him to readers if I ever get this editing done!! 😓

Very quick update, hopefully I'll get out of this slump soon.  

Thanks for reading! 😏

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Editing Updates!

I just started chapter 9, chapter 8 was tough to get through since it was a total rewrite.  Honestly the first 10 chapters had to be rewritten since I wrote them years ago and they don't fit with the rest of the story.  That's why it's taking me so long to get past them.  Once I'm done with chapter 10 hopefully it'll be smooth sailing. 😌

I'm stuck, I'm not sure if the way I'm editing is right, if that's makes sense.  Sometimes I feel like what I'm editing sounds amazing and other times I'm annoyed at what I'm reading.  I guess that's what beta-readers are for.😕  I've been doing well with my social media ban, without it I don't think I would be as far as I am with editing.  Also once I finish chapter 10 I'm rewarding myself by making another YouTube video, it's more motivation to get through these difficult chapters. 

I'm trying to keep my mind off querying and my query letter until I'm completely done with editing.  I have been attempting to round up literary agents I think would be a good fit and it's intimidating.  Not sure how I'm going to find 10 agents let alone 50-100.  Also I deleted my book from Goodreads, on purpose since now I don't know if I'll be traditionally published or self published.  

A lot may change so until I know for certain I'm going to keep it off there.  I added it back too prematurely. 😓  I've been stressed because I don't know if I'm making the right decisions and I hate that I'm a perfectionist!  I'm thinking of finding betas to read the first 10 chapters once I'm done, even though I want to be done with my book fully it'll give me closure to hear the opinions of other people since I'm so iffy about these chapters. 

Hopefully I'll have a better update next time, thanks for reading! 😏

If you're interested in beta reading please email me at

Monday, July 17, 2017

Why I'm traditionally publishing! (trying)

It's seems a bit abrupt that I'm deciding to try traditional publishing.  It was.  No lie.  I want to state my reasons for this big change and why I feel it's the best thing for me right now. 

1. Money.  Self publishing takes money, lots of money if you want your book to look good, be well edited, and marketed.  Money I don't have right now and I don't like the idea of crowdfunding personally even though I was thinking of taking that route.  With traditional publishing of course that won't be a problem.

2. More exposure.  I want this book to be in bookstores, Walmart, Target, etc.  I want it to be as accessible as possible so my target audience can find it.  With self publishing this isn't impossible but it's a lot harder.

3.  Mean Boys is extremely marketable.  It deals with so many relevant current topics. (which actually was unintentional)  Bullying.  Blackmail.  Revenge porn.  It's provocative, edgy, diverse, sexy.  All of the above and I'm sure it'll entice literary agents unless I write a horrible query letter. 

So here's a few of my reasons, it's still surreal that I'm even trying.  I don't know if anything will happen.  Maybe my book isn't as marketable as I think, or not well written, or too long, etc.  Nonetheless this is my decision, for now.