Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Where's the book?

Here's my list of reasons (excuses) on why my book still isn't out yet.  The book is short, not even a 150 pages and yet it's still not out?  What's up?  Here's my reasons:

  1.  I've been going through some eye issues, my eyes have been irritating and burning whenever I stare too long at my computer screen.  I work at a desk in front of a computer for eight hours everyday so that plus going home to look at another screen is causing me a lot of pain.  I've taken the measures to get these issues checked out but I won't be able to see a doctor until next month.
  2. Second reason my soul sucking job.  I work in a call center that deals with billing problems BILLING so when people call me they're always mad, yelling, angry, and calling me names.  It causes me so much stress whenever I get home all I want to do is eat, sleep, and cry.  Editing or writing is the last thing on my mind.  Then when I try to write I feel like it's all complete garbage and I stop.  I hate it, I could be done by now.  The saddest part is I always get the most urge to write when I'm actually at work.  I'm also on the verge of being fired due to my performance so that's another thing.  I happy to have a form of income but I absolutely despise this job.  I want to be a writer, that's it!  I know writing may not take off for me so I'm now in the process of finding another job.
  3. Anxiety/Depression.  I've been dealing with depression since middle school and the while anxiety thing just started a few years ago.  With my book I'm greatly worried about my family reading it.  That sounds weird but for me they have such high expectations I'm afraid that they'll realize I'm actually not as good of a writer or storyteller than they thought.  Or they won't like the characters or subject matter.  It physically makes me sick just thinking about it.  I know people will hate my book and I'm okay with that, I WANT TO SEE BAD REVIEWS so I can know how to improve on my next book.  I just worry I'll disappoint my family or they'll be embarrassed of me cause my writing is so shitty.  
So there are my vague reasons, I want to have it out before the summer if not before the end of April but I'm not so sure.  Sorry if anyone is actually interested in my book.